Today I am with mom at UCI for her 5th cycle of chemotherapy. Chemo days always make for early mornings. Once she was all checked in and one of the nurses guided us to where she would be spending the next few hours, it just so happened we were sitting by a window. Most of the seats here in the infusion center are near windows, but most of them face the sides of other buildings. Today, our window directly faces the hospital.

Throughout our lives we grow, evolve, and progress, but not often do we get a clear picture of just how far we have come. This morning as I look across the courtyard to the hospital, the picture is so clear. Mom and I spent days, weeks, and months in that hospital. It’s where she nearly lost her battle with cancer. It’s where she lost her ability to walk. It’s where she learned to walk again. It’s where doctors turned into family. Its where all limits were tested. It’s where we learned just how strong we could be.

We come to UCI at least once a week, I see it often, but today when I looked out the window, I was overwhelmed…I really saw it today.

I saw how far we have come. It’s not a long distance between where we are and where the hospital is…but looking at it today, it’s the longest distance. It’s a space filled with painful memories, fear filled days and nights, doubt, and tears. But that’s not all that fills that space…mixed in to all the difficulties are all the “small wins” along the way. Each step taken, each day we made it through, the relationships that were formed, and all the beautiful souls that have joined our team and mom’s fight.

My heart is full. My heart is grateful. My heart is humbled.

We have been met by grace at every twist and turn along this path.
We’ve come a long way.

I see all that is behind us and I anxiously look forward to all that is ahead.
A future we almost didn’t have.