Last December when we found out that after an exhausting, brutal fight, mom was cancer free, we put together a video to announce our good news. You can watch that video here: http://youtu.be/EVt7khQH9qM Since then, that video has had quite a bit of circulation within our UCI family, and we hope that it goes on to inspire and encourage anyone who sees it. We ended that video with a screen that simply says: “Onto the next chapter…”

But the next chapter didn’t turn out the way we had hoped or imagined. Earlier this year when we first found out that mom’s cancer had come back we were all hit with several waves of different emotions. Fear. Anger. Disappointment. Frustration. It felt as though we had barely had time to start catching our breath from the first cancer battle. We knew that recurrence was always a possibility, but if we would have to face it again, we had hoped for more time before having to do it all again. I think within our family, we all struggled to accept the second diagnosis, at times, more than the first one. The first time mom was diagnosed, she was really sick and it was visible and painfully evident. The second time, she was herself, there was really no indication that anything was wrong, but the bloodwork and scans proved that there was…the cancer had come back. Granted, it was nowhere near what it had been before, and mom’s quality of life was still the same, but cancer is cancer. And once you’ve heard that diagnosis once, you never want to hear it again. But as is life, cancer is unpredictable and we had to choose to move forward in hope and faith that God would allow medicine to heal once again

As we moved forward to make a plan with her team of doctors, mom was faced with the decision to join a clinical study for treatment or just pursue the current standard treatment; it was a no brainer. With a little fear and apprehension, but mostly joy and excitement she joined the study. It is important to her and is something she is proud to be a part of. At some point before her first diagnosis there were people who signed on to join a study for the drugs and treatments that helped save her life. In an act of gratitude and with a deeply rooted desire to give back, she said yes to doing her part to help find even better treatments, in the hopes that one day, we will see a definitive cure for this disease.

112 days ago we walked in to the Cancer Center at UCI for her first treatment. We had walked in here countless times before for lab work and previous treatments, but this time was different. We were at the start of this fight and as she has learned to do so well, mom appropriately had her fight face on. She was ready to walk into battle with no other possible outcome but winning. It was a completely different experience in comparison to the last time she received treatment and I could only identify it as one thing: she knew what it was to win. The previous times she had received treatment during her first battle, she had hoped that it would work and that she would beat cancer, but she hadn’t yet experienced what it was to be told “you’re cancer free.” So what made this time different? She walked in that first day of treatment 112 days ago already a survivor. These walls, nurses, procedures etc. weren’t unfamiliar; they were a kind of home and safe place. Naturally there was fear, hesitation, and apprehension going into treatment, but it was put at ease because she didn’t have to wonder what survival felt like…she was already a survivor.

In comparison to her first battle, the side effects were minimal this time around and for that we are so grateful. The biggest and most traumatic one was the loss of her hair. But as she has done so well, so many times before, she proved her bravery yet again by shaving it off. This is the part where I gush about my mom even more than usual. To those of us who haven’t been through what she has, it might seem like an easy thing to shave off all of your hair and we would all be very wrong. My mom made that decision for herself; she was not going to let cancer take anything else from her. Her decision to shave her head was a declaration to cancer that she was not going to hand over her power to it. She is brave. It might be easy to think that with all the ways we try and bring awareness to cancer that most people would be comfortable with a bald woman…let me clear up that confusion…it still makes most people uncomfortable. That fact combined with the twisted views our society has about beauty, all I can say is we still have a long way to go. But like I said, my mom is brave. And I have seen her walk confidently in any and every situation, and it is her hope, as it is mine, that her bravery will help empower other women going through it, but also that it would help teach us that it is not something that we need to look away from, but embrace, support and encourage. She is brave, and it makes me brave.

I know this is a long post, maybe longer than usual, but stick with me because it’s about to get really good…

Yesterday we received the news that mom is CANCER FREE once again!! She received her final treatment this morning!! We hope and pray that it was her last one ever, but we trust God and his plans for the future and today we celebrate this moment!

Our hearts are overflowing with joy and we hope that you join us in this so this joy can be multiplied. Yet, in the midst of that joy, we ask that you pause with us to honor and pray for all those that are fighting this vicious disease and remember those who have not had the outcomes that they had hoped for and pray for their families. I hope and pray we all get to see a day where this disease is 100% curable, but until that day we need to be vigilant and support all those that are walking through it.

There is no better way to end this post than by expressing our deepest gratitude. God has been so faithful and has blessed us so far beyond what we could have ever hoped or imagined. And one of the biggest blessings he has given us is our support system. I wish I could list each one of you that has joined mom’s team to help her win this fight, but this is already pretty long so I will just do a few groups of people 🙂

• To our family: thank you for committing to walk alongside us once again and for expressing your love and support in so many beautiful ways. You have held up our family in love and prayers and we could not imagine going through this without you. You fill our lives with joy, laughter, and more love than we can describe. We love you so much!
• To all of our friends: thank you for your constant prayers, encouragement, and love. You help us see beauty of community: sorrows divided and joys multiplied.
• To the incredible UCI staff, from the valet attendants, to the check in desk, to the nurses and aides, and study coordinator, thank you for your gift of making a difficult journey a little bit easier. You shine your lights so brightly and add warmth, joy, and love to a place that could be cold, sad, and lonely.
• And lastly, a very special thanks to Dr. Berman and Dr. Eskander. You are the coaches of our dream team and we can’t imagine this journey without you! Your commitment, excellence, hard work, and “cautious optimism” have journeyed with us and we have the privilege of walking out on the other end once again alongside two of the most gifted human beings we have ever known. Though you are truly remarkable doctors, your gifts go so far beyond the medicine, your compassion and dedication to caring for the whole patient has made all the difference! The world needs more people like you and we are grateful, honored, and humbled to know you. We think of you and pray for you often, thank you for your permanent mark on our lives.

As the cancer free finish line got closer and closer, there were questions about how we would announce it since mom’s video from last time was such a success and my response is this: no one goes into their wedding, planning for their second wedding. The hope and idea is that you only do this once. However, God saw fit that mom fight this fight again, and so there isn’t a beautifully edited video chronicling mom’s journey this time. Instead, I decided to sit at the computer and pour my heart out and celebrate mom’s journey the best way I know how.

Thank you again to everyone who has prayed, sent positive thoughts, loved, and supported my mom and our family throughout this time. We love you more than you know!

And so we say again: On to the next chapter…

Light and Love,

The Lopez Family