Tag / Cancer

by lesliedanielle87

August 23rd

This Friday August 23, 2013 my mom will be going in to have her surgery. Since my mom’s diagnosis in April, having surgery to remove the cancer has always been the primary goal. And here we are, almost 6 months later, finally preparing for it. The waiting period to get to this point has often times felt like it was moving at a snail’s pace and now that we’re here it all feels lightning fast and like we’re struggling to keep up.

While this is only one step, it is no doubt a big one. This kind of cancer is notorious for being difficult to get into remission, but our team of doctors feel strongly that my mom is in the prime window of opportunity right now to remove it successfully. The surgery is extensive and the recovery will not be easy, but my mom is focused and has her fight face on.

As we have stumbled, trying to navigate this road that has been set before us, we have been so richly blessed with an incredible support system. God has been so faithful throughout this time and we trust that He will continue to be with us. It is only by His grace that we are still here. We have all had many moments where our strength, courage, and faith have been shaken and from those moments we truly know that His grace is sufficient. His mercy and love have carried us and it is on Him that we rely fully, now more than ever.

As we prepare for my mom’s surgery on Friday, I would like to ask you for your prayers once again. The energy in our family this week seems to be changing constantly…We are hopeful. We are anxious. We are positive. We are trusting. We are fearful. We are at peace. Alternate and repeat.

Would you please pray for us?

Would you pray that peace would fill our hearts as we prepare for Friday?

Would you pray that my mom’s nerves and anxiety would be calm and that she would rest?

Would you pray that all would go smoothly and that there would be no complications?

Would you pray for a good and speedy recovery?

Would you pray for all of the doctors that are on her case, that they would have all the strength and wisdom they need to care for her?

And would you pray that as we wait for her surgery to be completed, that God would guard our hearts and minds from all the fears that try to creep in?

So many of you have walked with us in prayer and I can tell you with complete certainty that your prayers have carried us through so many moments when strength was quickly fading. Saying “thank you” seems trite, but it’s all I know to say. On behalf of my mom and my entire family, thank you for your love, support, encouragement, and especially your prayers.

by lesliedanielle87

Rough Night and A Prayer Request

When I first decided to really begin sharing our story, I made a commitment, if only to myself, to share it truly and openly, even on the more difficult days.

Truth be told, I don’t “want” to be on the computer writing right now. I would rather be trying to run and hide from it all in one of my favorite hideaways…sleep. But I’m here because tonight friends, I need to be “with” my community and I need to ask for your prayers that have become so indescribably dear to me.

[I feel that it should be known that as I write this, I can look over to my right and laying there is the most precious, sleeping boy. My nephew has spent the last two nights here and having him has been such a joy for everyone in the house. He is love, joy and a reminder of all that is good and right in this world; a reminder we have needed today.]

As I replay today in my mind, it would probably go down in the books as a good day. Any day that is overall uneventful is a good day these days, but the night has been a different story; it’s been a rough night.

I am so grateful for the close relationship mom and I have always had. Sharing and being honest is not something that is new for us and that fact has served us well as we have walked through this time. Good, bad, over-exaggerated, or gut-wrenching and raw, we share all of it and we had one of those times tonight. I don’t feel like I need to get into an overwhelming amount of detail. Tonight is a night to get right to the point.

To any of you who have been personally impacted by cancer, odds are, you’ve had many nights like we’ve have had tonight. When referencing cancer, it is often said that one is fighting or battling cancer. It not simply a back alley brawl, not that kind of fight, it is much more primal and war-like. It’s described as such because it is brutal. When we hear these references it makes sense, but for someone going through it, the implications are even heavier. The thing about a battle or war is that a majority of the time, there is someone on a winning side and someone on a losing side. We have not walked through this time oblivious to this reality, but have chosen to place our faith in the One who is carrying us regardless of the circumstances. I know this to be true with all my heart, but can I be honest with you? Tonight, the weight of the reality that a battle is won or lost is soul-crushing and so very, very heavy.

I still know and choose to place my trust in the One who holds my life, my heart, my hand, but tonight my heart is heavy, tired, and scared.

Friends, tonight, if you pray, would you pray for us?

Would you pray that the peace that surpasses our very limited understanding would surround us tonight?

Would you pray that as we sleep our hearts, spirits, and minds would be renewed?

Would you pray that mom’s faith and hope are strengthened?

Would you pray for infinite grace and strength for us to continue walking this path?

Please know that as I write this, I am praying for you also.

With a heavy, but infinitely grateful heart,

Leslie

by lesliedanielle87

A Birthday Letter for My Mom

Dear Mom,

Happy Birthday! My heart is filled to overflowing with gratitude that we get to share this birthday together. There was a time, not so long ago, that we weren’t sure we were going to get this birthday. But, by God’s grace and in His most perfect plan, here we are…together like we have been from the start.

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It’s difficult for me to put into words all that I feel as I celebrate you today. Life is a crazy thing, I think we all thought that last year would be one of the hardest birthdays of your life, but as it so often does, life proved us wrong. Go figure. After losing dad so suddenly, we were aware of how precious life is, but this year we truly know it don’t we? In the last 5 months we have learned to cherish each and every minute. While it would be easy to wish that you would have never gotten sick in the first place, I can’t easily dismiss the lessons we have learned that could only be taught in this situation. 

“…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13

In the midst of your own fight there has not been a moment where you stopped being there for me; comforting me, praying for me, and teaching me. Teaching me how to stand strong in the storm. From the very first time the “C” word was introduced into our lives your only response has been that you are going to fight…and fight you have. You’re fighting every single day. When the doctors came in for morning rounds the day of your first chemotherapy treatment you spoke with a quiet strength saying that you were going to fight and fight like hell to live. You’ve lived up to those words inspiring all of us. People that don’t even know you are moved by your strength and courage.

Some might think that fighting to live is the obvious choice, but we know that it’s not necessarily so. Life is hard enough as it is, but I have seen on such a personal level how brutal this fight is against this disease and its treatments. And even though we are crazy and broken you say that you draw strength for the fight by remembering what you’re fighting for. You’re fighting for us: your children and grandchildren. What an honor it is to be yours!

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“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue…Her children arise and call her blessed…” Proverbs 31:25-28

You have always been my pillar of strength and wisdom. Leading and guiding me through this bumpy road called life. And when it all gets to be too much, it is with you that I’ve laughed until it hurts. You are beauty and grace personified. Lately when you look in the mirror I know you see the effects of the last 5 months. When I look at you I can hardly describe the beauty that I see. You are my rock, my anchor, my very best friend. Life seems a little easier to handle when I get to live it with you.

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I don’t know what the future hold for us, but per your encouragement and wisdom, we will continue to trust God; together for as long as He allows. I haven’t been around for that long and I haven’t had the chance yet to do a lot of things that I hope to be proud of someday, but whether I’m given the chance or not, one of my life’s proudest titles will always be the title of being yours. You’re so much that I hope to be when I “grow up”. Yours is a love that loves completely and is free of judgement. It’s the kind of love people spend lifetimes searching for but I was born into. It’s a love that sees me and knows me (and knows me 8 months longer than the rest of the world).

It is one of my life’s truest honors to walk alongside you as you walk the path that has been set before you. Since before I was born you carried me and it is my privilege to carry you in the moments that it gets to be too much. I will carry you always; never as a burden, always as an honor. I cannot thank God enough for choosing me to be yours to laugh with, to cry with, to be scared with, to talk for hours with etc.

Thank you for sharing yourself with me always.

Thank you for showing me Jesus.

Thank you for listening to me.

Thank you for teaching me.

And for so much more.

Oh, and this year there’s a new one…thank you for fighting.

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Like every chapter before this, we will go into this next one side by side, hand in hand, together as long as He allows. Happy Birthday my mom, my heart, my best friend. I honor you and celebrate you today and always.

Fight on,

Leslie Danielle

P.S. I love you. I love you. I love you. Like the song 🙂