When I first decided to really begin sharing our story, I made a commitment, if only to myself, to share it truly and openly, even on the more difficult days.

Truth be told, I don’t “want” to be on the computer writing right now. I would rather be trying to run and hide from it all in one of my favorite hideaways…sleep. But I’m here because tonight friends, I need to be “with” my community and I need to ask for your prayers that have become so indescribably dear to me.

[I feel that it should be known that as I write this, I can look over to my right and laying there is the most precious, sleeping boy. My nephew has spent the last two nights here and having him has been such a joy for everyone in the house. He is love, joy and a reminder of all that is good and right in this world; a reminder we have needed today.]

As I replay today in my mind, it would probably go down in the books as a good day. Any day that is overall uneventful is a good day these days, but the night has been a different story; it’s been a rough night.

I am so grateful for the close relationship mom and I have always had. Sharing and being honest is not something that is new for us and that fact has served us well as we have walked through this time. Good, bad, over-exaggerated, or gut-wrenching and raw, we share all of it and we had one of those times tonight. I don’t feel like I need to get into an overwhelming amount of detail. Tonight is a night to get right to the point.

To any of you who have been personally impacted by cancer, odds are, you’ve had many nights like we’ve have had tonight. When referencing cancer, it is often said that one is fighting or battling cancer. It not simply a back alley brawl, not that kind of fight, it is much more primal and war-like. It’s described as such because it is brutal. When we hear these references it makes sense, but for someone going through it, the implications are even heavier. The thing about a battle or war is that a majority of the time, there is someone on a winning side and someone on a losing side. We have not walked through this time oblivious to this reality, but have chosen to place our faith in the One who is carrying us regardless of the circumstances. I know this to be true with all my heart, but can I be honest with you? Tonight, the weight of the reality that a battle is won or lost is soul-crushing and so very, very heavy.

I still know and choose to place my trust in the One who holds my life, my heart, my hand, but tonight my heart is heavy, tired, and scared.

Friends, tonight, if you pray, would you pray for us?

Would you pray that the peace that surpasses our very limited understanding would surround us tonight?

Would you pray that as we sleep our hearts, spirits, and minds would be renewed?

Would you pray that mom’s faith and hope are strengthened?

Would you pray for infinite grace and strength for us to continue walking this path?

Please know that as I write this, I am praying for you also.

With a heavy, but infinitely grateful heart,

Leslie